Entries Tagged as 'Clear Light'

May I Clean Your Chandelier?

Green Room ChandelierI went to bed early last night.  My head was hurting so bad from crying so much over the break of my recent relationship with Lane. I had so many emotions wrapped up in my head that when I was falling asleep I kept hearing voices.  They were the voices of many people. They were so loud and clear that they sounded as if they were in the room with me.  I was so irritated because they would not shut up and they were too many voices at once to distinguish the context of the conversations. 

 

I struggled to wake myself up to stop the voices.  As I would come back into consciousness the voices would stop.  I’d look around my bedroom and see the total darkness and stillness of my bedroom with only a dimmer of light coming in from the street. 

 

Again I would close my eyes and try to fall asleep.  Sleep came quickly and as the sleep paralysis would set in the voices would immediately begin.  Again I’d struggle to wake up to regain control of my body to stop the voices.  Each time I’d reawaken, the voices would immediately stop and I’d come to see the stillness of my bedroom.  This happened several times repeatedly.  The later and more tired I got and deeper I fell into sleep and the harder it became to reawaken myself to stop the voices. 

 

I then began having false awakenings mixed in with the real awakenings.  Eventually I got to the point where I would reawaken to the stillness of my room and immediately close my eyes and enter the false awakening while still fully conscious.  In the false awakenings my bedroom became brighter as if I had night vision; I could see the people in my room; those responsible for the voices.  There were many people present none who I recognized. 

 

I am irritated that these people have given themselves the liberty of invading my personal space.  With my arm I reach out to grab the person closest to me.  I point at each person singling them out one by one to let them know I am aware of their presence and there exact location in my dream.  But like ghosts my physical movements had no effect on them they simply ignored me. I swung my physical arms harder to make them aware of my disapproval.  Finally surrendering to the futility of my efforts, I simply ignored them and fell deeper into the dream. 

 

Angered by their invasion of my personal space, I decide to pick up my belongings and go home.  The only belongings I have here in this dimension are a massive crystal chandelier with many fragile pieces and an avocado green upright Hoover vacuum cleaner just like the one my mom had when I was a kid. I am angry with myself.  Why do I have this chandelier here in the first place?  Why in the world did I remove it from my home to bring it here?  The chandelier has been here for so long and uncared for that the glass is completely tarnished yet I know it still has intrinsic value worth keeping so I must take it home with me.  I’m embarrassed that the crystals are so dirty from neglect.  I grab a cloth sack with a draw string and place the many crystal pieces of varying lengths in the sack. I am careful so as to not break any of them. I carry the sack with caution in front of me.  The vacuum cleaner is sitting on a shelf upside down in a closet.  I grab it by the handle and turn it right side up and proceed to leave.

 

Outside is a woman sitting on the curb.  I know her to be an Angel but in this dream she is without her wings appearing as a regular person.  Since I am lucid, I know her too well.  I recognize her even though she is appearing as a regular person her angelic qualities shine through her pale white skin.  To temper her brilliance she is wearing a black pearl choker.  She is playing with some of the crystals from my chandelier moving them around like chess pieces on the sidewalk.  Apparently I had not retrieved all of the pieces.  She brings light to the dirty pieces exposing them for all to see.

 

At this point I’m angry with God for exposing my vulnerabilities and my dirty crystals and the fact that some have escaped my grasp.  I grab the Angel by her pearl necklace and demand the return of my crystals.  Forcibly I take them from her and release her from my grasp.

 

I am so angry.

The Sacred Heart

Paramahansa YoganandaLast night I had a dream where I am with Paramahansa Yogananda.  He wants to re-establish the original church according to prophesy.  We must go back in time to a world called Pakistan.  Without hesitation and fully devoted to my guru, I follow him.  In preparation for the trip back, I’m told that his heart must be transplanted into the body of another man. I witness the entire transplantation process.  As if through x-ray glasses, I can see his beating heart reconnecting with all the major organs and systems of the man’s body.  His heart is now in the body of a man I do not fully recognize.  If I had not been allowed to witness the process I might not have been able to believe it, yet I feel his presence.  I know it is him.  I am amazed that his essence moves with him through this other man. 

 

We now embark upon our journey to go back in time.  I’m a bit confused however.  So I ask him, Guru, is it not India where you’d like to go? He replies, “No, Pakistan is the seat of the original church, as told by prophesies.”  When we arrive I am in culture shock.  I feel estranged.  The civilization here is so primative.  You can’t even get a cup of coffee here.  The place is a region near the boarder of both worlds.  I feel so out of place.  I can’t adjust to this environment.  It is so foreign to me.  I want to go home.  

 

The ordeal seems unending and at times I wonder if I am not enslaved here in this foreign land.  At times, my faith in my Guru slips me because I don’t understand all that is in his plan.  I wonder if I will ever see the day when I will reconnect with my homeland.  I miss my home.  I want to go home but I know this mission is very important and for that I am willing to stay in this foreign land.  

 

Then the day finally comes.  I had almost come to the point when I had forgotten about my homeland.  The day has come to go home. 

 

Yogananda taught his students the need for direct experience of truth, as opposed to blind belief. He said that “The true basis of religion is not belief, but intuitive experience. Intuition is the soul’s power of knowing God. To know what religion is really all about, one must know God.”

Echoing traditional Hindu teachings, he taught that the entire universe is God’s cosmic motion picture, and that individuals are merely actors in the divine play who change roles through reincarnation. He taught that mankind’s deep suffering is rooted in identifying too closely with one’s current role, rather than with the movie’s director, or God.

He taught Kriya Yoga and other meditation practices to help people achieve that understanding, which he called self-realization:

Self-realization is the knowing in all parts of body, mind, and soul that you are now in possession of the kingdom of God; that you do not have to pray that it come to you; that God’s omnipresence is your omnipresence; and that all that you need to do is improve your knowing.

 

Christ Sacred Heart
The Sacred Heart is a religious devotion to Jesus’ physical heart as the representation of the divine love for humanity.  Christ, in his appearances to Margaret Mary, allegedly promised these blessings to those who practice devotion to his Sacred Heart. This tabular form of promises was not made by St. Margaret Mary or her contemporaries. It first appeared at 1863. In 1882, an American businessman spread the tabular form of the promises profusely throughout the world, the twelve promises appearing in 238 languages. In 1890, Cardinal Adolph Perraud deplored this circulation of the promises in the tabular form which were different from the words and even from the meaning of the expressions used by St. Margaret Mary, and wanted the promises to be published in the full, authentic texts as found in the writings of St. Margaret Mary.[9]

1. I will give them all the graces necessary for their state of life.

2. I will give peace in their families.

3. I will console them in all their troubles.

4. I will be their refuge in life and especially in death.

5. I will abundantly bless all their undertakings.

6. Sinners shall find in my Heart the source and infinite ocean of mercy.

7. Tepid souls shall become fervent.

8. Fervent souls shall rise speedily to great perfection.

9. I will bless those places wherein the image of My Sacred Heart shall be exposed and venerated.

10. I will give to priests the power to touch the most hardened hearts.

11. Persons who propagate this devotion shall have their names eternally written in my Heart.

12. In the excess of the mercy of my Heart, I promise you that my all powerful love will grant to all those who will receive Communion on the First Fridays, for nine consecutive months, the grace of final repentance: they will not die in my displeasure, nor without receiving the sacraments; and my Heart will be their secure refuge in that last hour.

The last promise has given rise to the pious Roman Catholic practice of making an effort to attend Mass and receive Communion on the first Friday of each month.

Great efficacy of converting people has been attached to the use of the image of the Sacred Heart.

“Even at the hour of death, incredulous, indifferent, hardened souls have been converted by simply showing them a picture of the Sacred Heart, which sufficed to restore these sinners to the life of hope and love, in a word, to touch the most hardened. It would, indeed, be a great misfortune to any apostolic man to neglect so powerful a means of conversion, and in proof of this I will mention a single fact which will need no comment. A religious of the Company of Jesus had been requested by the Blessed Margaret Mary to make a careful engraving of the Sacred Heart. Being often hindered by other occupations, there was much delay in preparing this plate. ‘ This good father,’ writes the saint, ‘is so much occupied by Mon- signor d’Autun in the conversion of heretics, that he has neither time nor leisure to give to the work so ardently desired by the Heart of our Divine Master. You cannot imagine, my much-loved mother, how greatly this delay afflicts and pains me. I must avow confidently to you my belief that it is the cause of his converting so few infidels in this town. I seem constantly to hear these words : ‘ That if this good father had acquitted himself at once of his promise to the Sacred Heart, Jesus would have changed and converted the hearts of these infidels, on account of the joy He would have felt at seeing Himself honoured in the picture He so much wishes for. As, however, he prefers other work, even though to the glory of God, to that of giving Him this satisfaction, He will harden the hearts of these infidels, and the labours of this mission will not be crowned with much fruit.’

 

The 7th Seal and the Seeds of Enlightenment

SignetI had an incredible lucid dream where I am trying to achieve and master all the things I’ve always wanted to master.  I am recreating all the situations that will bring me the experiences I have wanted to defy.  I want to reveal all the things that have been hidden from me.  In this one dream scene, I am in my house which has a security system which keeps all things contained in their order.  Unknown to everyone else, there are hidden treasures stored in the walls of the house where no one would suspect.  I defy the security system bypassing it in such a way that I am able to gain access within the walls of the house.  Within the walls, they have hidden hallucinogenic substances to confuse and distort perception.  These treasures are a double edged sword.  On the one hand they keep those who might make it past the security system within a distorted perception of the truth yet on the other hand they possess the keys to enlightenment. 

 

There is a beast who oversees all operations within the walls.  I challenge him at every step of the way learning more and more about his secret world and how it works.  I pursue him relentlessly with supreme conviction and determination of mind. 

 

I was so much in awe at the experience that at one point I had to get up and pee. Worried that I would not be able to come back to this golden opportunity to experience truth, I held my bladder and remained in my bed to carry out the dream to its finale. 

 

Back in the dream, I come upon a door where a light shines forth underneath the door.  I bend over slightly to examine the source of the light.  From out of nowhere appears a penny on the floor.  Wow, synchronicity in the dream, I knew I was on the right track to discovering something very profound and the dream had just confirmed this by manifesting a penny. 

 

Now beside my Self with excitement in materializing a penny within the dream, I look around to carefully examine my surroundings.  This empowers me to press onward.  One illusion after another I am able to defy.  Finally there is only one last thing left for me to defy and that is the fear of being formless; to see myself as I really am.  I want to experience the void and conquer the fear of death.  I pursue the beast and corner him in front of a mirror.  He struggles to keep me from looking at my Self in the mirror.  I somehow know that if I can corner the beast and place him in front of me while standing in front of the mirror I will be able to see and know my own truth.  I tear the cloths off the beast pinning him in between me and the mirror.  In a moment of utter clarity, I am finally able to see myself as pure invisible void draped in the clothing of the beast.  I can also see the beast between me and the mirror completely naked.  His image is distorted and ugly yet I recognize that I AM the beast. 

 

The image of the beast melts away and in its place appears a second coin; a very large gold coin.  My alarm sounds “bad timing,” I think to myself.  I reach over without leaving the dream to hit the off button on my alarm.  I am amazed at my ability to be fully awake and at the same time fully within the dream.  As I marvel at my awareness and this radiant gold coin which I hold in the palm of my hand, an inscription appears on the coin.  It has inscribed on it “7H”  I can see the inscription very clearly but I am confused as to its meaning.  As I lay there holding the coin, a profound awareness comes over me.  I have broken the 7th Seal. 

 

Knowing I only had a few minutes remaining before I needed to get up I didn’t want to leave this state of consciousness.  I had this dream while attending the 2008 IASD conference in Montreal.  I was sharing a room with David L. Kahn.  I could hear him in the shower.   Determined to see this dream through I pressed on wanting to understand the significance of the signet. 

 

It suddenly occurred to me, “Tear down the walls!”  I quickly began tearing down the walls of the house like ripping wallpaper off a wall.  Underneath the wallpaper I could see screening rooms.  Alien civilizations were hidden in the walls of the house.  The aliens had left me two shipments within the walls for me to find at this particular time history.  These shipments contain the seeds of enlightenment stored in small packets that have a very pungent odor.  Some of the packets have seeds and others have worms.  The worms hold the secrets to the seeds of life.   The seeds need the worms to survive and grow yet they are contained separately in their chloroform baggies. 

 

The experience was so real I could swear aliens had arrived and announced themselves on Earth this morning.  I could see them arriving at their welcome centers.  Panic could be heard throughout the world. 

 

I try to get the message out that there is nothing to fear.  Then a pink cockatoo bird comes and begins eating the seeds from the packets before I have a chance to plant them in the ground along with the worms. 

 

I now have to pursue the bird. Without thinking I immediately take flight.  I can feel my wings flapping against my back carrying me to soar above the clouds in pursuit of the bird.  As I look down at the ground below me I am in total and utter awe.  I am flying!  I am a bird! 

 

It was total bliss.  Unable to breath I heard myself gasp for air.  I sat up in bed.  David was sitting at the edge of his bed meditating.  I immediately began sharing with him what I had just experienced.  Wow that was phenomenal!!! 

 

I remember thinking, Wow, we go through life asleep and unaware of the truth.  I was also struck by the word Chloroform.  I had never used the word before and I had no clue what the word meant.  I assumed it was a variation on the word Chlorophyll which I know to be the green pigment in plants so I decided to look the word up.  Coincidentally, I found the following:

 

The major use of chloroform today is in the production of the refrigerant R-22, commonly used in the air conditioning business. However, as the Montreal Protocol takes effect, this use can be expected to decline as R-22 is replaced by refrigerants that are less liable to result in ozone depletion. In addition, it is used under research conditions to anesthetize mosquitoes for experiments, most frequently for the study of malaria. In film and television, it is sometimes used in a fictional manner to knock out an unsuspecting victim, leaving no trace.

Chloroform was developed in the mid-1800s and was mainly used as an anesthetic. Inhaling chloroform vapors depressed the central nervous system of a patient, causing dizziness, fatigue and unconsciousness, allowing a doctor to perform simple surgery or other painful operations.

 

I found it interesting that Chloroform is used as an anesthetic to dullen the senses.

Eye on the Ground

Cat's Eye NebulaLast night I had a dream where I am with a group of emissaries.  We are discussing events of the future.  They are telling me all that is to occur.  I am told there will be blocks of time that will go missing.  Finding this hard to believe, I question them asking them for further clarification.  It is as they say; blocks of time will go missing.  They then suggest that it has already happened to me.  I pause to reflect on my past looking for a time in my recent past for which this could be true; an instance where I could not account for time.  As if to answer the question for me, an eye appears embedded in the ground to my left.  I suddenly understand exactly what is meant by the loss of time.  It is all that I am.  Knowing all there is to know about the eye on the ground, I am told that I am to go forth and preach and begin my ministry because now I am a believer and I know the truth.

 

I begin to feel an energy rushing up from the ground like that of a serpent coiling around my body along my sides and up under my arms.  It has a tingly feeling that tickles.  I want them to stop because the feeling is to intense against my body. The sensation wakes me up with a ringing in my ears.  As I opened my eyes there beside me was a giant warrior with a long sword.  The ringing was from the sound of the blade as he pulled it out of its sheeth.  I asked the warrior, how do you safely carry a weapon of that size?  You don’t carry one, he answered.  Instead, you trust in the eye for no harm can come to you.  With that said, he and his sword vanished.

Photo Credit: Cat’s Eye Nebula NASA, ESA, HEIC, and The Hubble Heritage Team (STScI/AURA) 

The Cat’s Eye Nebula is a planetary nebula in the constellation of Draco. Among the earliest of human records written, the ancient Egyptians identified this constellation as Tawaret, the goddess of the northern sky in their pantheon of deities. Considered as ever-vigilant because the constellation never set, she was depicted a fierce protective goddess whose body was a composite of crocodile, human, lioness, and hippopotamus parts.

I found it interesting that Ministry also refers to government and in fiction a reference is given to the New Republic from Star Wars.  The following quote suck out for me.

The New Republic is a mutual self-protection pact among over four hundred sentient species, and an economic partnership between eleven thousand inhabited worlds.”

—Chief of State Leia Organa Solo

Looking up the word preach I was redirected by Wikipedia to the word Sermon.  There I found the most famous sermon to be the “Sermon on the Mount.”  Little did I know there is another version of the same sermon called ”Sermon on the Plain” from the Gospel of Luke.  I was unaware of this version which sounds very similar to the title I chose for this dream.  The title of course for the dream came directly from imagery in the dream which was pretty straight forward.  ”On the Plain” sounds very similar to ”On the Ground.”  Not to mention Sermon and Eye have spiritual connotations.

Notable messages in the Sermon on the Plain include:

I love dreams like this because there are so many layers or dimensions of meaning here.  It speaks volumes to the one with an open mind who is willing to hear. 

Dawning the Face of God

GeckoLast night while I was deep in mediation lying in bed, I saw in my mind’s eye what looked like a woman. She was on top of me, somehow within me, occupying the same physical space that my body occupies. As she raised her body out of mine, she delivered a deep tongue kiss. It caught me completely off guard. “Too late to refuse that one,” I thought to myself. To play with the vision, I kissed her back. I then observed her unusual features as she blushed and backed away. She was humanoid, with friendly lizard like qualities.  Her tongue was thick and long and her jaw bird like. Her colors were saphire blue and emerald green. She reminded me of the Geico Gecko. Slowly her image faded and I drifted off to sleep.

My dreams were one struggle after another. So much happened that I can’t even begin to recount all the events. The last thing I remember happened toward the early morning hours. I was watching these reptilian humanoids perform a procedure on me. I could see my anesthetized body below on a table. They had my jaw unlocked and my mouth wide open as if I had swallowed something. Something began to come out of my mouth. I felt very uncomfortable as if I was in labor. Something from deep within me was coming out. I then realized it was the lizard’s tongue that I had swallowed. I began to squirm as the anesthetic began to wear off. I struggled to bring it up from deep within my esophagus. With one large and forceful cough I regurgitated  and expelled the lizard tongue.

HeraclesI immediately opened my eyes and awoke from the dream. Above my bed was floating the image of a gigantic Herculean man. He had a huge frame and was very muscular. His hair was a radiant white. He had rosy checks and a thick white beard and mustache. I could tell he was a man of great wisdom. He clearly saw me too. He tried to tell me that he is what they had extricated from within me. He kept patting himself on the chest, saying, “I am, I am.” I laid there confused somewhat angry that I’ve been choked up for so long with this huge man inside me.

I studied his features carefully. Still angry, I grabbed my voice recorder and recorded the details of what I had experienced. Choked with anger, I felt it difficult to describe what had just happened to me. I did the best I could and set the voice recorder back down. The man was still hovering over my bed, trying desperately to get my attention back. I simply refused to give it to him. I rolled on my side and returned to my sleep. Finding it difficult to sleep, I decided to meditate so I rolled on my back.

I quickly fell into a vision, where I saw two great birds the white condor and the black condor struggling with each other; their etheric bodies melding into one and emerging as two. Over and over this process continued. After a few minutes my alarm clock sounded. I opened my eyes and reached over to snooze it. When I looked back, I noticed the white bearded man was still above my bed. Now he had my attention. I connected with him telepathically and realized the struggle would continue until I devoted all my attention to him. But who was this man? He answered, “Do you not recognize me?” He did look familiar. He reminded me a little bit of Santa Clause. Then I remembered. This man had visited me before. “Spirituality is a treasure to live for all humanity, to overcome a notion, in a time when spirits rejoice. Where ever you go you pull the universe with you.” Oh my….I knew who this man was……but why was he dawning my face?  His face was my face at the end of my life.

When I got to work I searched Wikipedia for a picture to use for my post that would come close to describing the man from this morning but nothing seemed to fit. I tried Hercules, Giants, Gigantes, Jack and the Beanstalk, but nothing seemed to fit. I finally came across Heracles. The minute I saw his statue I said…”That’s him.” I didn’t even know who Heracles was. Come to find out he is also know as Hercules. I had thought they were different people but come to find out he is one and the same. I did find the meaning of his name interesting.

In Greek mythology, Heracles or Herakles (“glory of Hera“, or “Glorious through Hera,” Alcides (original name) was a divine hero, the son of Zeus and Alcmene, nephew of Amphitryon[1] and great-grandson (and half-brother) of Perseus. He was the greatest of the Greek heroes, a paragon of masculinity, the ancestor of royal clans who claimed to be Heracleidae and a champion of the Olympian order against chthonic monsters. Extraordinary strength, courage, ingenuity, and sexual prowess with both males and females were among his characteristic attributes.

I also looked up Hera in Heracles and to my astonishment it resembled my dream of swallowing and regurgitating.

In the Olympian pantheon of classical Greek Mythology, Hera, (Greek Ήρα, or Here (Ήρη in Ionic and Homer) was the wife and older sister of Zeus. Her chief function was as goddess of women and marriage. Her equivalent in Roman mythology was Juno. The cow and later the peacock were sacred to her. Hera was born of Cronus and Rhea and was swallowed by her father after birth due to a prophecy that one of Cronus’s children would take over his throne. Zeus was not swallowed because of a plan hatched by Rhea and Gaia. Rhea wrapped a stone into baby clothes and gave that to Cronus. Zeus was then moved to a cave on Crete. Rhea later gave Cronus an herb which she told him could make him completely invincible. The herb actually made him regurgitate the five other Olympians: Hestia, Demeter, Hera, Hades, and Poseidon, as well as the previously ingested stone. When Zeus grew older, he banished Cronus to Tartarus, the deepest chasm in the underworld, because the Titans were immortal and could not be killed.

Now do I look like Hercules? Maybe there is a little resemblance.

The Tree of Life

Tree of LifeI had a dream where I am one among a group of students.  We are preparing for our board certification exams.  I’ve just entered into the curriculum but classes are already well underway.  I apparently have transfer course credit that I can transfer in to place me on par with my new classmates.  I notice my classmates are all in excellent health.  I’m thinking I had better start my diet plan back up again.  Although I don’t remember studying the course material I somehow seem to know the subject matter as if I had lived it.  Considering the subject matter might be too easy for me, I consider the possibility of a dual major. 

 

At this point I began to awaken, slowly regaining consciousness.  The dream however had not yet ended.  As I lay there in bed fully lucid looking over my course work I saw before me within the dream my third eye looking back at me.  The iris was a beautiful luminescent etheric blue.  Within the pupil I could see lightning flashes of green and blue.  As I looked more carefully at the lighting within the pupil I noticed the lighting had created a pattern in the sky.  Within my pupil was now the tree of life.  Lightning was flowing through it’s many branches and trunk.  Knowing what I was beholding…I was in utter awe.   

 

My alarm clock sounded so I reached over to snooze it.  I continued to lay there for a few more minutes trying to return.  Instead, I saw an olive green backdrop upon which three hieroglyphs appeared.  My alarm sounded again.  It was time to awaken. 

 

 

Modern Tree of LifeI went to Wikipedia to find an image to use for my post and read a little bit about the origins of the tree of life.  Interestingly the last picture image on the Wikipedia page, which I did not like because it didn’t look like a tree, is a graphical representation of the modern “Tree of Life on the Web” project.  When I clicked to enlarge this photos it strinkingly resemples an iris with the tree within the pupil. The hieroglyphs I saw look much like the hand drawn tree of life on the same Wikipedia page that Darwin hand sketched. 

The Distraction of the Clear Light

Clear LightLast night I had a dream where I am being pursued by dark spirits who distract me.  They come nightly to pursue their quest.  The question is can I be distracted.  In the dream I am laying in bed and aware of the many spirits around me when suddenly I catch a glimpse of a bright white light.  The light is so intense I can barely focus on it. My inclination is to look away.  This is the light from which I must not be distracted. The goal is to move toward this light but the dark spirits are pawing at me.  

 

I have a son who is with me.  Throughout the night I’m attempting to avoid the dark spirits but they are powerful and persistent.  In the morning, I tell my son that the following night I must leave him alone because I have a business trip to undertake.  He is around 11 years old, almost old enough to remain in the house unsupervised.  At the last minute, I find a woman whom I know very well.  I ask her if it would be possible for her to care for the child during the night.  She agrees.  I then ask my son whether he is aware of the many spirits that visit the house nightly.  He says he has seen nothing.  I’m amazed that what is so apparent to me is unseen by others.  Regardless, I know the threat of distraction exists. 

 

The business trip turns out to be a one on one confrontation with the source of my distraction.  I must meet this entity head on.  No matter what I do I can’t seem to disarm this threat.  The distraction persists.  He pops up everywhere I go as an obstacle of my life long dream.  He is like a weed in my garden coming up every spring year after year.  As a last resort, I simply hold up my palm to him and graciously stop trying.  In relaxing the light flows through me and shrinks the entity.  I take advantage of this moment and gather my family and get in my car. Unfortunately, he resurfaces as my cousin inside my car.  In the end, I realize you can’t avoid it you must simply let go, accept it and bring it along with you.  It is a part of me.  It is my shadow.